I remember the first day I held you. Your squishy little body delicately folded in my clumsy arms. I thought I was going to break you. But, you looked up at me with such trust, like you knew that your tiny pattering heart was, from this point on, forever connected with mine. My kindred spirit; my saving grace. Your guileless giggle caressed my ears and wrapped me in a blanket of innocence. A smile broke across my face. You were seeing everything for the first time...and so was I. I saw the whole world in your baby blue eyes. I heard the secrets of the wind in your worldless mumbles. And I felt an irreprable eruption of love in my once forsaken heart. With one sweet touch, you changed my world from a wasteland of crumpled efforts to a blank page of possiblilites. And for that, I am forever in your debt.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Grown Ups Lie
I had set my alarm the night before. Twice. I wanted to make sure I would be up with the sun because that was prime morning dew time. The anticipation that was burbling through my tiny six-year-old body woke me minutes before the chime of my alarm clock had the chance. As the sleepy sun peaked over the mountains, I jolted out of bed and clambered out of the house throwing myself face first onto the freshly dewed lawn.
I squeezed my eyes shut and shoved my freckled face into the grass, swiping it back and forth until I couldn't hold my breath anymore. Satisfied with my efforts, I tore myself off the ground and bolted into the bathroom, like a dog after a bone, to see if it worked. As my eyes met my reflection my heart sank to a depth it had never felt before. Disappointment? Confusion? Anger? At six years old, I honestly didn't have a word for how betrayed I felt.
I had done everything just like he had told me to do...but my freckles were still relentlessly splattered across my tanned cheeks showing no promise of disappearing. Did I do it wrong? Did I not do it enough?
As I stood there in dismay with my eyes locked on the mirror a rumble of laughter rolled through the room. I slowly turned to find my parents leaning in the kitchen door frame looking at me with pitiful humor dancing in their eyes. What was so funny? What was I missing?
It was just a joke, they said. Uncle Rick tricked me. He was lying. I learned a new word that day. Lying. I mean, I had heard it before, but I didn't really understand what it meant. At that very moment I knew one thing for certain. Grown ups lie.
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