I Seen A Man

[I did not write this...but it was part of an LXD (check it out on Hulu) episode and I absolutely fell in love with it so I wrote it down and decided to post it]

I seen a man.

I seen a man

With the crack of lightning in his feet.

I seen a man who feels the soul through his soles.

But his mind is not laced tightly.

His spirit is twisted

Anchored to will of his surroundings.

I seen a man

And he has a gift.

But beware.

His heart may be callas

And his will heals at nothing

I seen a man

With allusionary razor blades cutting further into his attention span

Unaware of the passing years he has yet to catch up to.

Now he marches into mediocrity with the capacity to be great.

Only his dreams separate him now.

Thoughts that fill the air

Until split ends confuses him of his incite.

I seen a man

Who will rule with the fourth wall clouds his thoughts from his every day persistence.

Required words trying to find one another explore every paths existence.

The existential experiential surrealistic unbalanced potential wakes him up at night

Subconsciously aware of the thoughts that fill the air.

As death falls upon deaf ears,

The color of light turns.

Blind eyes become the seer of light beyond the sight of mortal fear.

I seen a man.

I seen a man.

- LXD (unknown as of yet)

Breath From Within

let your soul breath. four simple words. one simple truth.

we are all so busy trying to figure life out, to figure out our purpose, to figure out how to survive in a world that is constantly depleting our lust for life, that we forget what it's actually all about. we are endlessly turning over rocks instead of standing on them to get a better view. we are always trying to get more when we don't even spend the time to appreciate what we have. we are driven...but in the wrong direction. we are always looking outward for the answers when every answer we ever need is in ourselves. in our heart. and in our soul. but we are so busy caging up those answers because we are afraid of them and we don't believe they exist in our cockfight reality.

but they do.

when is the last time you stood alone with nature and listened to peace resting in the breeze? when is the last time you took a second to stare at the intricacies of a flower as it bloomed in the sunshine? when is the last time you just spent a moment with yourself without worrying about anyone or anything else?

your soul is that flower yearning to bask in the suns gentle rays. it is that peace pining to rest its weary self in the wind. it is the part of you that exists beyond this world. you just have to trust it. trust yourself. and let. your soul. breath.

New Ink

The step sis and I got matching tats. Well...she was a poon and got it on her arm but they are the same thing. Shel is the man and the giving tree has always been one of those books that speaks to you no matter your age.

7 lbs 6 oz

I remember the first day I held you. Your squishy little body delicately folded in my clumsy arms. I thought I was going to break you. But, you looked up at me with such trust, like you knew that your tiny pattering heart was, from this point on, forever connected with mine. My kindred spirit; my saving grace. Your guileless giggle caressed my ears and wrapped me in a blanket of innocence. A smile broke across my face. You were seeing everything for the first time...and so was I. I saw the whole world in your baby blue eyes. I heard the secrets of the wind in your worldless mumbles. And I felt an irreprable eruption of love in my once forsaken heart. With one sweet touch, you changed my world from a wasteland of crumpled efforts to a blank page of possiblilites. And for that, I am forever in your debt.

Grown Ups Lie

I had set my alarm the night before. Twice. I wanted to make sure I would be up with the sun because that was prime morning dew time. The anticipation that was burbling through my tiny six-year-old body woke me minutes before the chime of my alarm clock had the chance. As the sleepy sun peaked over the mountains, I jolted out of bed and clambered out of the house throwing myself face first onto the freshly dewed lawn.
I squeezed my eyes shut and shoved my freckled face into the grass, swiping it back and forth until I couldn't hold my breath anymore. Satisfied with my efforts, I tore myself off the ground and bolted into the bathroom, like a dog after a bone, to see if it worked. As my eyes met my reflection my heart sank to a depth it had never felt before. Disappointment? Confusion? Anger? At six years old, I honestly didn't have a word for how betrayed I felt.
I had done everything just like he had told me to do...but my freckles were still relentlessly splattered across my tanned cheeks showing no promise of disappearing. Did I do it wrong? Did I not do it enough?
As I stood there in dismay with my eyes locked on the mirror a rumble of laughter rolled through the room. I slowly turned to find my parents leaning in the kitchen door frame looking at me with pitiful humor dancing in their eyes. What was so funny? What was I missing?
It was just a joke, they said. Uncle Rick tricked me. He was lying. I learned a new word that day. Lying. I mean, I had heard it before, but I didn't really understand what it meant. At that very moment I knew one thing for certain. Grown ups lie.

This is Your Brain on Rugby (concussion #4?)

Neverland Exists Between Sleep and Awake

Neverland exists
between your deepest dreams
and impending reality.
the ineffable limbo
that lingers in the realm of the unknown.

but Tinkerbell is dead
and Peter Pan is lost.

happy thoughts

happy thoughts

happy thoughts are all we have
in this limbo of false reality.

happy thoughts will guide you
to that second star.
but the rest is up to you
between sleep and awake.

no fairy dust
no pirates
no mermaids
no wendy
no peter
no mom
no dad

just

happy

thoughts

to guide you home
to Neverland.

incompatible necessity

the lines have been drawn.
the sides have been taken.
dont let the silence fool you.
this is just the quiet before the storm.

a war is lingering on the horizon,
brewing behind clouds of things unsaid.
words slice through the sky,
like bolts of blind lightning
demolishing every fragile bridge,
that once connected their two worlds.

two beating hearts
that yearn to be together.
two fading souls
that stumble in the dark.
two sets of arms
that need each others embrace.
two unwilling people
alone in their own wake.


a two way road swept away
by the tides of unforgiving time.


one wants to be heard.
one wants to be seen.
both are blinded by their own reflection
on the surface of the stormy seas.



the lines have been drawn.
the sides have been taken.
but no one is left standing
to claim righteous victory.

Eyes Wide Shut

If you don't think love exists...you're not looking at the world with your eyes open. Love resides everywhere just waiting to be embraced. But so many people are waiting for it to come knocking on their door, they end up forgetting to invite it to their pity party. Love starts in your own heart. No one is going to put it there for you.

Can I get a moment of silence? (stupid Kindle)

Fragile Smile

A smile
put on reserve
waiting for the right time
to embrace the delicate truth.
It's shy.

Flyhalf

pride
burns through her veins
as she stretches across
the line with ball clutched in hands. try
awarded.

the absence of color

her white soul ghastly
stained upon her face.
a white tundra of abandonment
for all the world to trace.
the vulnerable white page
that lost all its words
the small white girl
afraid to go towards
the bright white light
echoing her shame
her fragile white mind
remembering his name.

sanguine petals

a wilting rose
blooming from your chest.
a buckle of the knees.
a silence that deafens the world.
a bright red stain
amplifying your frangible soul.
a mouth thick with blood.
you choke on your last words
as your life secrets from within you.

my screams are muted
by the barren breeze
as unanswered questions
linger in the space between us.
our eyes lock,
a lifetime of things unsaid
trapped behind your ineffable iris
pining to be free.
petals of blood
pool around our entwined bodies
as i watch your soul
escape with the wind.

a final choke.
a limp body.
an empty stare.



a bleeding rose
wilting for all eternity.

Limbo of Love

pulsing beats of pure addiction
surging through my helpless heart.
my body gives way to your seduction
entwined as if to never part.

nothing exists
but you and i
in this fragile false reality.
torrents of tingles
caused by a single trace,
eternal bliss
in a single embrace.
your honest indigo eyes
answer every ineffable question
that my soul ever sang.
i am lost
and found
in this limbo of love



until i awake
embracing nothing
but sweet air.
until the moon rises again, my dear
haunting fairy tale.

Epilogue in Progress

And there she stood on the edge of the cliff. The cliff she had embraced as home. Her fists clenched reflexively at her side. Standing erect and facing forward, silently beckoning the hostile breeze that was whirling around her, pushing from every direction. Her deep mahogany eyes seemed to be searching for everything and nothing. Searching for unspoken truth. Searching for hope. Searching for every unanswered prayer. But she found nothing; nothing but a forsaken silence. Jumping from this cliff never crossed her muted mind. She had a tranquil understanding with the cliff. Her tattered clothes were gently swaying in the whispers of the wind. The rough and soiled fabric that hung helplessly off her taut skin reflected every broken heart she had tried to mend. Every frown she erased. And all the pain and suffering that she inadvertently absorbed. Though she spent her life trying to save the souls of everyone around her, her own soul was lost somewhere deep inside; wandering blindly for a glimmer of tranquility. The solid ground at the edge of the cliff was reassuring beneath her feet. The proximity of the ledge surged adrenaline through her veins as the wind's whispers escalated into a hopeless howl. Her resilience was depleting and the walls of her mind were being eroded by the flood of emotions that she had been subconsciously damming for years. She slowly let her eyes gravitate to the precipice that lingered inches from the souls of her sturdy boots. The sun was effortlessly sinking in the sea of mountains and she could feel her heart not-so-effortlessly sinking in her chest. Her soft brunette hair fluttered restlessly in the persistent wind that fiercely danced around her solemn body. And she finally embraced the modicum of emotion that was restlessly fluttering in her beaten heart as a single tear escaped and took a suicide plunge down her cheek.

Boons of Yesteryear

you dont get it
and you never will.
the fire from your twisted deeds
scorched my innocent soul.
irreparable damage
I somehow managed to harness
and breath life into
yet again.
but you.
you dont get it.
you seek forgiveness
but offer no such apology.
you seek redemption
but offer only excuses.
you wrenched away my innocence
and 12 years later,
you still dont get it.
I survived.
I grew.
I became strong.
I had no choice but to be fearless.
I didnt let you win.
there will forever be a scar on my soul,
but it is nothing more then a boon of victory.
my heart has no vengeful beat.
anger does not course through my veins.
but a smile will forever linger on my face.
you were never able to take that from me.
yet again, you 'apologize'
for what 'happened'
not what you did.
my response?
you better hope St. Peter accepts your excuses
better then i do.

reflections of the future

there she stands
in a room all alone.
success is hers,
pride
ebbs and flows through her veins.
she looks around to share
but no one is there.
empty words of encouragement
crumble beneath her
false notions of support
float above her
and backwards smiles
sneer from every direction.
the mirror alone
sees who she is.
it smiles back at her
as she grabs hold of her dreams
and forgets the place
from whence she came.
never to return again.

you can quote me

do you think that maybe God just stopped listening because he got sick of all the prank calls, hang-ups, and wrong numbers?

If you never learn to laugh at life...life will never stop laughing at you.

love is blind? no, love is ignorant and has a horrible sense of humor.

when your hindsight is no longer 20/20...its time to see someone other then your eye doctor.

It's not until you think you have lost everything that you realize the everything you thought you had was actually holding you back from so much more then you ever imagined.

its not until you stop trying to prove yourself to others, that you can finally prove something to yourself.

sometimes you are just not cut out for things. no matter how hard you try; the ginger bread man will never fit in the star shaped cookie cutter.

if you dont take the time to appreciate the little things that border your path, then you will stumble over ever little thing in life that crosses it.

reality checks are the hardest to cash in, but the most profitable

you never see the end coming until its too late to fix it with a tap of life's breaks and a swerve of fates wheel.

Life is just a long game of solitaire; we all have the opportunity to succeed if we are willing to shift enough cards.

nothing is ever as it seems, for if it were, it wouldn't be.

It's not about whether the cup is half empty or half full; its about whats in the cup.

growing up doesnt mean leaving childhood behind. it means seeing the world through a childs eyes, but knowing how to rationally react with adult maturity.

we are all just puppets attached to strings of time.

the key to life is to think about the future without getting caught in too many dreams and remember the past without trying to rewind.

have you ever confused heartburn for love?
(ok, thats not really a quote but its one of my best random thoughts)