Grown Ups Lie

I had set my alarm the night before. Twice. I wanted to make sure I would be up with the sun because that was prime morning dew time. The anticipation that was burbling through my tiny six-year-old body woke me minutes before the chime of my alarm clock had the chance. As the sleepy sun peaked over the mountains, I jolted out of bed and clambered out of the house throwing myself face first onto the freshly dewed lawn.
I squeezed my eyes shut and shoved my freckled face into the grass, swiping it back and forth until I couldn't hold my breath anymore. Satisfied with my efforts, I tore myself off the ground and bolted into the bathroom, like a dog after a bone, to see if it worked. As my eyes met my reflection my heart sank to a depth it had never felt before. Disappointment? Confusion? Anger? At six years old, I honestly didn't have a word for how betrayed I felt.
I had done everything just like he had told me to do...but my freckles were still relentlessly splattered across my tanned cheeks showing no promise of disappearing. Did I do it wrong? Did I not do it enough?
As I stood there in dismay with my eyes locked on the mirror a rumble of laughter rolled through the room. I slowly turned to find my parents leaning in the kitchen door frame looking at me with pitiful humor dancing in their eyes. What was so funny? What was I missing?
It was just a joke, they said. Uncle Rick tricked me. He was lying. I learned a new word that day. Lying. I mean, I had heard it before, but I didn't really understand what it meant. At that very moment I knew one thing for certain. Grown ups lie.

This is Your Brain on Rugby (concussion #4?)

Neverland Exists Between Sleep and Awake

Neverland exists
between your deepest dreams
and impending reality.
the ineffable limbo
that lingers in the realm of the unknown.

but Tinkerbell is dead
and Peter Pan is lost.

happy thoughts

happy thoughts

happy thoughts are all we have
in this limbo of false reality.

happy thoughts will guide you
to that second star.
but the rest is up to you
between sleep and awake.

no fairy dust
no pirates
no mermaids
no wendy
no peter
no mom
no dad

just

happy

thoughts

to guide you home
to Neverland.

incompatible necessity

the lines have been drawn.
the sides have been taken.
dont let the silence fool you.
this is just the quiet before the storm.

a war is lingering on the horizon,
brewing behind clouds of things unsaid.
words slice through the sky,
like bolts of blind lightning
demolishing every fragile bridge,
that once connected their two worlds.

two beating hearts
that yearn to be together.
two fading souls
that stumble in the dark.
two sets of arms
that need each others embrace.
two unwilling people
alone in their own wake.


a two way road swept away
by the tides of unforgiving time.


one wants to be heard.
one wants to be seen.
both are blinded by their own reflection
on the surface of the stormy seas.



the lines have been drawn.
the sides have been taken.
but no one is left standing
to claim righteous victory.

Eyes Wide Shut

If you don't think love exists...you're not looking at the world with your eyes open. Love resides everywhere just waiting to be embraced. But so many people are waiting for it to come knocking on their door, they end up forgetting to invite it to their pity party. Love starts in your own heart. No one is going to put it there for you.

Can I get a moment of silence? (stupid Kindle)

Fragile Smile

A smile
put on reserve
waiting for the right time
to embrace the delicate truth.
It's shy.

Flyhalf

pride
burns through her veins
as she stretches across
the line with ball clutched in hands. try
awarded.

the absence of color

her white soul ghastly
stained upon her face.
a white tundra of abandonment
for all the world to trace.
the vulnerable white page
that lost all its words
the small white girl
afraid to go towards
the bright white light
echoing her shame
her fragile white mind
remembering his name.

sanguine petals

a wilting rose
blooming from your chest.
a buckle of the knees.
a silence that deafens the world.
a bright red stain
amplifying your frangible soul.
a mouth thick with blood.
you choke on your last words
as your life secrets from within you.

my screams are muted
by the barren breeze
as unanswered questions
linger in the space between us.
our eyes lock,
a lifetime of things unsaid
trapped behind your ineffable iris
pining to be free.
petals of blood
pool around our entwined bodies
as i watch your soul
escape with the wind.

a final choke.
a limp body.
an empty stare.



a bleeding rose
wilting for all eternity.