Limbo of Love

pulsing beats of pure addiction
surging through my helpless heart.
my body gives way to your seduction
entwined as if to never part.

nothing exists
but you and i
in this fragile false reality.
torrents of tingles
caused by a single trace,
eternal bliss
in a single embrace.
your honest indigo eyes
answer every ineffable question
that my soul ever sang.
i am lost
and found
in this limbo of love



until i awake
embracing nothing
but sweet air.
until the moon rises again, my dear
haunting fairy tale.

Epilogue in Progress

And there she stood on the edge of the cliff. The cliff she had embraced as home. Her fists clenched reflexively at her side. Standing erect and facing forward, silently beckoning the hostile breeze that was whirling around her, pushing from every direction. Her deep mahogany eyes seemed to be searching for everything and nothing. Searching for unspoken truth. Searching for hope. Searching for every unanswered prayer. But she found nothing; nothing but a forsaken silence. Jumping from this cliff never crossed her muted mind. She had a tranquil understanding with the cliff. Her tattered clothes were gently swaying in the whispers of the wind. The rough and soiled fabric that hung helplessly off her taut skin reflected every broken heart she had tried to mend. Every frown she erased. And all the pain and suffering that she inadvertently absorbed. Though she spent her life trying to save the souls of everyone around her, her own soul was lost somewhere deep inside; wandering blindly for a glimmer of tranquility. The solid ground at the edge of the cliff was reassuring beneath her feet. The proximity of the ledge surged adrenaline through her veins as the wind's whispers escalated into a hopeless howl. Her resilience was depleting and the walls of her mind were being eroded by the flood of emotions that she had been subconsciously damming for years. She slowly let her eyes gravitate to the precipice that lingered inches from the souls of her sturdy boots. The sun was effortlessly sinking in the sea of mountains and she could feel her heart not-so-effortlessly sinking in her chest. Her soft brunette hair fluttered restlessly in the persistent wind that fiercely danced around her solemn body. And she finally embraced the modicum of emotion that was restlessly fluttering in her beaten heart as a single tear escaped and took a suicide plunge down her cheek.

Boons of Yesteryear

you dont get it
and you never will.
the fire from your twisted deeds
scorched my innocent soul.
irreparable damage
I somehow managed to harness
and breath life into
yet again.
but you.
you dont get it.
you seek forgiveness
but offer no such apology.
you seek redemption
but offer only excuses.
you wrenched away my innocence
and 12 years later,
you still dont get it.
I survived.
I grew.
I became strong.
I had no choice but to be fearless.
I didnt let you win.
there will forever be a scar on my soul,
but it is nothing more then a boon of victory.
my heart has no vengeful beat.
anger does not course through my veins.
but a smile will forever linger on my face.
you were never able to take that from me.
yet again, you 'apologize'
for what 'happened'
not what you did.
my response?
you better hope St. Peter accepts your excuses
better then i do.

reflections of the future

there she stands
in a room all alone.
success is hers,
pride
ebbs and flows through her veins.
she looks around to share
but no one is there.
empty words of encouragement
crumble beneath her
false notions of support
float above her
and backwards smiles
sneer from every direction.
the mirror alone
sees who she is.
it smiles back at her
as she grabs hold of her dreams
and forgets the place
from whence she came.
never to return again.

you can quote me

do you think that maybe God just stopped listening because he got sick of all the prank calls, hang-ups, and wrong numbers?

If you never learn to laugh at life...life will never stop laughing at you.

love is blind? no, love is ignorant and has a horrible sense of humor.

when your hindsight is no longer 20/20...its time to see someone other then your eye doctor.

It's not until you think you have lost everything that you realize the everything you thought you had was actually holding you back from so much more then you ever imagined.

its not until you stop trying to prove yourself to others, that you can finally prove something to yourself.

sometimes you are just not cut out for things. no matter how hard you try; the ginger bread man will never fit in the star shaped cookie cutter.

if you dont take the time to appreciate the little things that border your path, then you will stumble over ever little thing in life that crosses it.

reality checks are the hardest to cash in, but the most profitable

you never see the end coming until its too late to fix it with a tap of life's breaks and a swerve of fates wheel.

Life is just a long game of solitaire; we all have the opportunity to succeed if we are willing to shift enough cards.

nothing is ever as it seems, for if it were, it wouldn't be.

It's not about whether the cup is half empty or half full; its about whats in the cup.

growing up doesnt mean leaving childhood behind. it means seeing the world through a childs eyes, but knowing how to rationally react with adult maturity.

we are all just puppets attached to strings of time.

the key to life is to think about the future without getting caught in too many dreams and remember the past without trying to rewind.

have you ever confused heartburn for love?
(ok, thats not really a quote but its one of my best random thoughts)

If you have not had the pleasure of seeing this masterpiece of awesomely clever humor brought to you by an amazingly talented and hilarious cast, then you need to do something about it. now. Joss Whedon is a genius and writes like no other. You also really need to get your hands on Firefly...I promise you will instantly fall in love and watch the entire series in one sitting.

Horizon of Hope

my heart is no longer yearning for this to end,
the ledge that was once a "solution"
has become an horizon of possibility.
sunshine has slowly crept
its way into my soul.
the rain that once drowned my ambitions
now causes me to dance
free of all inhibition.
a cascade of heavens tears
create a landscape of tranquil beauty.
your tormented tornadoes cannot penetrate
my endless sunrise.
i am no longer searching
no longer grasping
no longer lost.
i have found myself
in the sunshine.

white horizon

she is losing herself
lost inside an abyss of confusion
trying to grow up
yet stay the child that’s trapped in her heart
her soul is blind
stumbling around reality
lost between who she was and who she will be
her mind slowly shuts down
blocking everyone out
a fake smile smeared upon her lifeless face
an ocean behind her eyes
damned by her stubborn pride
her heart slowly beats less and less
strangled by the claws of emptiness
its vibrant red slowly turning to a cold hard black
salvation seems so far away
yet teases her endlessly
the numbing of truth is all she feels
the ledge seems to be the only one who understands
it offers solutions
but they are more complicated then they seem
the white light is there across the horizon
promising freedom at the cost of everything
her eyes are tired; they slowly close
her heart is heavy; it sinks below
her body is still; waiting for it all to end
she hasn't given up
she just doesn’t know where to go
the ledge is comforting
but she is strong enough to know better
she is waiting
waiting for it all to pass
when the tsunami of emotion finally ends its tyranny
she will pick up the pieces
and start a new
her soul will find its way back
and her heart will break through the black corrosion that consumed it
her eyes will be thirsty for the light of day
and she will walk once again
she will walk towards that salvation
and grab it by the throat
as if to make sure it never hides from her again
her stone cold face will soften yet never forget
but her tough skin will always remain
to remind her of the day
she almost gave in.

waiting for the past

numb.

swarming waves of complications.
ruthless recollections of the past.
a desolate thump of the heart.
mind melding images twist and twirl.
the present stands still.
damned tear glands.
a wall of pride.
a ghost trembles in the shadows.
a smile stitched with pain.
absent eyes
searching for false truth.
outstretched fingers reaching and reaching
fumbling in endless darkness.

someday.

someday.

blurs of reality whip past,
too fast to grasp and cling
the warm wind responds
barren promises of future.
the soul withers
the ghost still remains
thump
thump thump
a mere strand of hope.
someday
someday
but for now
numb.